| R.I.P.
once again, a reminder of how fragile life is...by a horrible tragedy. one by one, those we know and once thought would be here for an indefinite amount of time leaves us to go to a better place.
whoa i just did this instead of doing my paper....time flies. the bolded ones are current responses to that person and the one below is the old response from august, 2004. i'm probably gonna do another one...to a more up-to-date list of people, as so many have come and left and life has evolved so much since. it's kind of nice to see a change in feelings and relationships.
- Write a statement for 20 people you know, some statements can go to more than one person.
- Never tell which one is for who.
1. we're good friends now, perhaps not as good as we started off, but i'm content. i've stopped the pain from you and you've matured, i'm glad to watch you grow into a more ambitious and wiser man. i like to think back at those days and wonder why we were even together at one point, i know i would never want to be with you again more than a friend, but if i lost this friendship, it would be a great loss to me. i wish i had more time to talk to you, and i can't wait to hang out with you again. i miss you but in a different way from 2 years ago.
1. i miss you, just over a month ago, you still held a place in me. i'm surprised it took this long to get you out of me. there are still times when i can't help to think back to the past that was once so flawless. but i hate you for what you've done and i don't know if i can ever forgive you, i'm so stupid to have cared about you for so long. but i've finally moved on, even tho you have already, way before me. i think it only took me so long cause i was burdened with regret. i didn't do anything about it in the end.
2. it's funny how you do want me now, when i thought i'd never be able to get you. so much has happened in the past two years, our friendship have evolved to become stronger but i don't know if i would ever want you the same way as i once did. but who knows, we'll have to wait and see. i think i've lost some respect for you recently, but boys will be boys. i hope i get to see you more next semester, hanging out with you is chill.
2. . i know that i'm not perfect enough for you. i wish i were though, but i guess one day i'll stop feeling these feelings. or i hope that one day you would see beneath my imperfections and like me for who i am.
3. you ditch me so much for your friggin girlfriend now! pah! and you don't call me as much, but i understand, i've never called you anyways so i can't complain, i miss you though, you've helped me understand so much about how people's mind work and you're always there for me, on the phone or online. i can't wait till summer and we'll have fun again =)
3. i miss you, i miss the fun times we had together, why can't you stay? i need to talk to you in person, and it's different when you're not here. we used to have those silly fights and i would get mad at your foolish actions, but now that you've left, i've opened up myself to you,and i wish that you'll be here to stay. thanks for listening to my endless whining and making me laugh when i thought only tears could come out. but you gotta learn to be serious around me sometimes -_-"
4. although i've told you more these days simply because there's no one you can "accidentally" divulge my secret to anymore, but i've definitely lost my trust in you, and you made the mistake. though i'm still glad you're continuing to trust me, although i must admit there are times when i'm close to breaching it. i'm glad we're still able to keep in touch...and honestly your horrible habits are forgotten for now because i don't have to deal with it, so i feel like i'm cool with you.
4. you're a good friend, i'm glad that you trust me, but i still can't bring myself to trust you after everything that has happened, but i've started to open up to you. you have the little quirks that still annoys me. however, i'll be here for you when you're in need. but some times you should stop taking nice things people do for you for granted. no one owes you anything, i don't either, so next time you ask for a favour, be a little more humble. a relationship is always a two way stream, if you want people to sacrifice for you, you have to sacrifice for them. there are ups and downs in our friendship, and i now remember why i wanted to keep the distance earlier.
5. i definitely trust you more, but i think it's the same case as the above. honestly though, you're life is going astray and i really hope you pick it back up, however, after summer, you have matured so fucking much and i am so proud of you for that. i am so glad you realise your past mistakes and behaviour can be ridiculous, and we look back at the others remaining in the group, still stuck in the same immature mindset. i fucking miss you, but please, don't make any more mistakes, please, don't hurt anymore people.
5. you're so indecisive, some times you're so stupid. and the things you say don't make sense and at times i just want to smack some sense back into you. but why are you able to brainwash me with your idiocy at the very moment? you're still a nice person tho, when you want to be. but i feel like i can't trust you at all, nor do i feel you're listening, we've had our ups and downs and you'll still cool to chill with.
6. what the hell happened to you? you're still pretty hot but what the hell happeend?! whenever i hear you talk i want to laugh at you because of how much you've changed. LOL. i still hope you transfer over here though and it was good seeing you a month ago.
6. I never got to know you very well, i thought we clicked. what happened? was it me or was it you? something i did or something you did? or something SHE did? well, i miss the phone calls we had and i miss you, i guess if it's meant to be, we'll have a connection in the future. and i regret not making enough effort....
7. damn i fucking miss you so much. unfortunately we're so bad at keeping in touch, but i really hope to visit you over winter break. and you'll always remain top priority. we've gotten so much closer in the past two years it's unbelieveable, unfortunately we had different friendship groups. i too, have watched you mature over these years...i miss you.
7. you're a really nice person, i enjoy being with you and talking to you. but you need to loosen up, chill out, frankly i'm starting to find you slightly annoying and there are times when you are holding onto our friendship too tightly. just give me some space okay? i'm still grateful for lending me your ears when i needed them. it's been great knowing you, and keeping close contact all the time.
8. you've changed a LOT. i've drifted so far from you, i don't really know what to feel about you, except you're funny and chilled. and the rumours that surround you.
8. you're so persuasive, and it's one of the qualities that really shines through. i admire you, but i've also heard rumours about you and i don't know if i should believe them, because sometimes you do contradict yourself and the rumours seem to be slightly true. despite that, you're a great friend and i always manage to have a great time when i'm with you. i hope i can trust you, cause i opened up to you unwillingly, and now i can only hope for the best.
9. whoa, we've grown apart so much in the past 2 years...though it's nobody's fault, it was difficult to keep in touch with you. sorry i brushed you off last time, i was really busy, but i'll try to make more time for you if i have the opportunity to....
9. why did you have to leave? i like our phone conversations. im sorry i'm busy at times, but i still try to fit you in! you gotta come back more often, you're one hella person to hang out with, and i feel comfortable talking to you, though i don't know if i can trust you because secrets and gossip flow out of your mouth like niagra falls, you're like the gossip king. LOL
10. you really dissapointed me last year...that's all i can say. i've lost respect towards our friendship...and distance is really pulling us apart. whatevers.
10. you're one great friend, although we've drifted apart, i'm really glad to know that you still care, and i still care for you too. i miss our talks in lessons together, but now we don't have any lessons, and we hang out with different people. i have so much to tell you. and we've both changed so much, but i know we'll still be there for eachother till the end. don't stop smiling.
11. haha you haven't changed much, or we haven't...all i can say is, good luck with life. again you've matured, but still pretty idiotic at times....miss you though, and keep it up with the girls!!
11. you really really annoy me with your stupidity some times. but i still like you. you're still a great friend who makes idiotic commen ts , and you're here for me a lot of the times, and always listening to me. we've done a lot together and it's been fun!!!! though i don't see you out of school much.
12. again...you really dissapointed me last year...when i saw you didn't care, you apologized and i know it was something more, but it still peeved me and now that i realize how empty your words can be. thanks for ditching me for your ex-bf when i probably wouldn't see you for a long long time!
12. i miss you so much, we were close but distance has pulled us apart. i miss our talks in lesson and lunch. you're always there for me and on my side. you're really a gem. i'm glad to finally see you and talk to you this summer. you've changed, but never for the worse. it's all good, we all change at some point in life and sometimes you just gotta embrace these changes and others will learn to too.
13. i admit i didn't take our friendship too seriously...you were always stoned...i didn't really care much about us..but i am still grateful for all the times when you listened to me rant...i have to say our relationship have changed drastically and you've matured a lot. we've done a lot of stupid shit, a lot of rumours came out thanks to you, and i don't think i'll ever be able to forgive you for that, but at least i know you're more mature now. good luck in life, don't fuck it up like you have in the past.
13. we only started talking again recently. and i've gotten to know you a lot more in two weeks than i did in the past 6 years. we really do have our love-hate relationship. but i feel as if i can finally start trusting you. our "deep" conversations shows me that you've matured a great deal. you've influenced me and my life in good and bad ways. either way, i'm thankful for. although there were some moments where i'm not so thankful for. regardless, i'm glad you walked into my life. but you know, you can be really annoying sometimes o_O no means no.!!! and you're fickle, one moment you can be calling me 5 times a day, or once a fortnight.
14. whoa, things have completely turned around. you brought it up one day and you apologized to me and even applaud me. i wish we hang out more though, and i know it's mainly my bad...but life's so busy...and you're busy. but we're such tight friends now, you really do care for me like a bro, despite all that's happeend. just don't be such a fucking player!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for being there for me, and you're the only one that's seen me at my worst (appearance). love you.
14. i don't know. i like you but i also dislike you at the same time. i wish you were never like this, you've hurt me, and wanted to use me, but i still forgave you. i've heard so much about you and i wish what they say weren't true. i saw it for myself. and i don't want to get hurt again. at least i know it's all over. we've both gone our seperate ways. i hope you treat others better in the future.
15. haha you have like no friends now. i haven't seen you in forever, and i'm not gonna waste energy on you, but just don't get too many abortions.
15. you're the biggest bitch i've ever met in my whole entire life. and you know what? i'm not the only one who thinks so. you don't have any true friends, everyone is fake to you. stop living in a dream and wake the fuck up, realise that the world does not revolve around you and nobody appreciates your immaturity. you're an adult and it's time to act like one.
16. our friendship never came back...and you're having a great time at college, got a girlfriend, i'm happy for you. we're never gonna be as close as we once were but we should def keep eachother up to date.
16. i really miss you, i don't know what happened between us. well, i do actually, and i regret not doing anything about it. although i know it's nobody's fault, and roles have swapped. i really miss the times we had together even though it probably hurted you then. well, i hope you're happier now. i just want you to know that i still care, and a lot of people care about you too. you have a lot of potential and you shouldn't let little things get to you. but you also have to be less self absorbed and realise that we're all going through hell, and you're not alone in this journey.
17. after that night, we drifted apart big time. i didn't even see you for over 6 months...heard so many rumours about you...don't know what to think, but you're still awesome to me and i still love your sense of humour. thanks for your call.
17. it was a good night, i opened up to you, although i probably shouldn't have. it did bring us closer but i do feel exposed. i don't think i know you well enough to start trusting you. but you're a great person to chill with, the life of the parties! your remarks are great, your sense of humour is awesome, keep it up. i hope you'll be happier.
18. so...i might see you soon...after what, 5/6 years? please don't pretend you care when you really don't. you still annoy the hell out of me, and i hope you're having a great life, because i know you aren't. i still resent you. my feelings haven't changed much towards you for the past 2 years.
18. Where were you for so many years when i needed you? our constant fights, the constant jealousy, so much hurt, so many hopeless dreams. well, they're all over now. you were THIS close to ruining our lives, although perhaps not intentionally. i don't know if i can forgive you. well, things have cooled down between us, distance has made the heart fonder but there are still times when i resent you immensely. i don't feel like i have anything to do with you either, so don't even bother pretending.
19. i regret to say that i never managed to do the things i said to myself i would. i never said i love you and i never did anything for you...but i do love you and i'm still happy for you. i hate how we don't have much to talk about now that i don't see you as often...and i hate how i'm always so busy for your phone conversations...but i do care and i do miss you a lot. thank you so much for everything and respecting me and my independence and trusting my judgement. i love you.
19. you're the most important person in my life, yet i know i don't treat you as well as i should. we are completely dependent upon eachother. i don't know how you do it, i don't know how you stay so strong, for us. we've made it this far. although i hide a lot of things from you, even though you're probably the only person in life whom i can trust my life with. you weren't here in the beginning but you've made up for it now and i can't imagine how i can deal when the day comes and you're not gonna be here. but i know you've done good in life, and you've served God well, so you'll be in heaven. hope i'll see you there when our time comes. i'm glad you're happier.
20. you still call me up. you have a fucking girlfriend, now i really saw your true colors, actually, i was right at the beginning, you had wanted to use me all along, and i'm glad i didn't let you. i can't believe you would do this behind her back...but now i'm sure you did this to me too. well, all i can say is good luck with life...i knew i was stupid for caring so much, and taking so long to get over you....
20. i hoped you were different. i was deluded. i guess you were just using me but you didn't get very much out of me. but i don't care anymore, you've hurt me. and i don't care about that either. i just miss what i thought we had. if we could turn back time, i would undo all my mistakes. it really is true that you never lose by loving, but you always do by holding back. i just don't want to regret, and i hope i get a second chance. although you didn't make an effort either...but two wrongs don't make a right. i know i shouldn't be so stupid and i should be strong and just move on, but i can't. i know you're not worth it, but i don't care, the pain you put me through is too great to care about other things. i know i should stop picking at an unhealed wound, but it's too tempting.
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